Realizing that you are an empath can be traumatic. Empaths don’t come with an instruction manual and it’s not obvious how to get “empath help”.
First, there’s the disbelief: “that can’t be right…that’s impossible…am I crazy?”
It can take us years to understand what’s happening and find the words to describe our empath experience.
And then, we have to contend with wild, untamed empath skills that can drown our emotional sanity. We struggle in every day life, trying to keep our head above the turbulent sea of other people’s emotions.
So how can we learn to train our empath skills and regain our emotional sanity?
When An Empath Needs Help
Most empaths I’ve met struggled with debilitating side effects, which is why I coined the phrase “impaired empath” back in 2009 to describe someone who is not able to control their empath skills. They always feel overwhelmed.
While being an empath can be a rewarding experience, we’re trying to drink from a fire hydrant if we can’t control the “flow” of emotional information that comes through us. This is why learning how to control our empath skills is so important: when we can sort out what’s ours vs what’s theirs, we can see more clearly into our own life.
It’s the only way to get our head above the water.
I’ve talked to many empaths who came to me completely overwhelmed by the millions of web sites, books and articles. There is help for empaths out there, but when you’re already 100% overwhelmed, it’s just too much to process.
Ultimately, every Empath is different and the kind of training each of us needs is unique. But we can get started by covering the basics…
Take One Step at a time
Instead of trying to find out everything there is to know about empaths, let’s start with one step right now.
Here’s a short list of the 7 Techniques from in my Empath Survival Program, including a short description on how they can help you. Initially published in 2007, I have been refining each technique since then, tuning into the feedback provided by thousands of empaths who tried them.
So today, just pick one. Don’t overthink it. Just read the description and click then link. Then practice the technique for two weeks. You’ll need this time to process the the sense of relief it will bring into your life.
When you’re done with that one, you can come back for another one.
But really, only one at a time!
- Technique 1: Turn Down their Volume. You feel overwhelmed while you’re talking to someone; a friend, your husband, your clients.
- Technique 2: Turn Up Your Volume. You are confused about how YOU feel. You’re always doing what everyone else wants.
- Technique 3: Filters and Shields. You need to go to the mall or a wedding but big excited crowds usually wipe you out.
- Technique 4: Boundaries. You cannot detangle yourself from your love partner. His mood is your mood. You’re practically sharing a heart…
- Technique 5: Anchoring. You have a hard time focusing at work. You feel cramped, invaded or wading in hostile territories.
- Technique 6: EFT: Feeling Safe. You only see pain and suffering. You don’t feel emotionally safe around other people.
- Technique 7: Grounding. You feel like a headless chicken, constantly distracted by other people’s emotions. You can’t find 2 seconds of clarity in your own life.
When I first started using Technique 1, I would do it over 100 times a day! I felt a little bit better every time, which is why I kept doing it. Over the next few weeks, you will feel a world of difference.
Becoming a Happy Balanced Empath
“But Elise”, I hear you say, ” what about after the survival? Are we just condemned to struggle for the rest of our lives?”. That’s a really good question, and the answer depends on where you choose to go from here.
In order to feel happier, I think that we need to become a balanced empath, which involved two steps. First: learn to control our empath skills. Second: figure out how to express our empath nature in everyday life.
Without this journey, it’s hard to be a happy empath. We feel incomplete and unfulfilled.
But what does that mean? Well, for one thing, this process should not hurt you. It’s not a curse on your life. It’s a skill that you can learn to use in a way that is meaningful to you.
Here’s some examples. There’s an empath barista at my Starbucks who can tell how people are feeling as they walk up to her, even before she looks at them. She subtly adjusts her greeting to “match” her client’s mood. Guaranteed to make you smile, without overdoing it!
I know a real estate agent who can tell how people feel when they walk into a house. Because of this knowing, she can angle them in the right direction for the next house, one that is a much better fit for what they really want.
I’ve met a novelist who soaks in the emotions of people who are feeling stuck and writes about that. She takes her readers on a journey that resonates with them, but also shows them a way out.
There is no limit to the ways you can express your Empath skills. But it’s critical that you find something that fits YOU.
Not sure what this looks like? If you need a little clarity and intuitive insights, let’s talk! I can help you with step by step instructions on how to:
- Pin-point the technique that works best for you
- Solve a challenging situation (is your co-worker driving you crazy?)
- Discover your best-fit productive outlet