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This question recently came up in the Empath Community forums…

“I have been watching my 5 yr old…She is kind of a mother hen, She is drawn to people and animals that are sick or in pain, or are weak…Then she ends up that night with leg cramps, diarrhea, and headaches…I was wondering if there were any way to help her control it or help her. I know she does not know she is doing it.

Has anyone else dealt with this or does anyone have any suggestions?”

 

I would suggest that you setup a ritual for your daughter before she goes to bed that will allow her to ground and shed anything she has picked up from other people.   Here are some example:

Make up a cleansing rhyme, to be used as a sort of affirmation, for her to say like “I am safe, I am fine, I leave everything behind”.  You could tell her it will help her sleep better.  This simple phrase will tell her mind to let go of other people’s state of being.

 

–  Teach her to filter out what is not hers, like with the “turning down the volume” (Empath Survival Program – Technique 1) when she gets a symptom that she obviously picked up from someone else.   This will help her focus on herself and not on other people’s state of being.

 

– Teach her a grounding technique to use before or after she is exposed to a person in distress.  Being grounded allows us to remain centered and NOT get confused with other people’s state of being.  Doing a “yoga breath” (that’s what I call it with my son) where the child breathes deeply 3 times to “fill all the way into their belly with air” works well with young kids.

 

Once she’s comfortable with whatever you choose to do, you can have her use this during the day when you notice that she has taken on other people’s state of being.

 

I hope this helps :)

in love,

Elise Lebeau, Ph.D., Professional Intuitive

www.EliseLebeau.com

It’s very common for an Impaired Empath to have high levels of anxiety.  Actually, a fearful Empath might live their whole lives with anxiety/fear […]

balanced empath Someone asked me this question recently:

“When you describe certain “side effects” of being an Empaths, why is it that we have a hard time falling asleep before midnight? This is one of the hardest things for me to deal with and I have taken a sleeping pill on more than one occasion to go to sleep earlier.

This was my response:

We have a hard time falling asleep because other people are emotionally active in the evening.  They’re watching Survivor, or feeling depressed about their job or arguing with their spouse.  But by the time everyone is asleep, things finally get quiet for us, making it easier to fall asleep.

If you have this problem I would suggest:
1) Use Exercise 1 from the Empath Survival Program to “turn down the volume” of other people when you want to fall asleep

2) Some Empaths stay awake because they subconsciously feel responsible for others.  Like a mother who can’t sleep until the baby is asleep in the other room :)  If this resonates with you, then I would suggest you work on releasing yourself from feeling responsible for other people’s feelings.

 

in love,

Elise Lebeau, Ph.D., Professional Intuitive

Are you an Empath???
Read the essential Empath Survival Program!
http://www.EliseLebeau.com/empath

balanced empathEmpaths have a natural ability to sense not only their own
but also the emotions of others. This innate skill can be observed in
babies. This ability usually subsides in childhood as we learn to focus
more on verbal cues than emotional ones.

But for some people, the flow of emotional information just keeps
coming. This can lead to powerful internal conflicts as they pick up
incoherent verbal and emotional messages from people (such as when
someone lies or suppresses anger). It can also quickly become
overwhelming in social settings where the sheer quantity of emotional
information can be too much to handle.

Emotional Intelligence is defined as “the ability, capacity,
or skill to perceive, assess, and manage the emotions of one’s self, of
others, and of groups” (Salovey and Mayer, 1990). Developing your
Emotional Intelligence means that you have tools and processes to manage this emotional data.

Are you an Empath?

  1. Do you feel anxious or nervous in a crowd (4+ people)?
  2. Does your mood vary seemingly at random (getting angry or sad for no apparent reason)
  3. Do you feel a change in your physical energy level when you’re in a crowd (tired, wired)
  4. Do you have a hard time falling asleep before midnight or do you procrastinate going to bed?
  5. Do you have physical symptoms that related to hearing (ringing, popping, itching in the ear)?
  6. Do you feel emotionally uncomfortable when someone touches or is close to you?

 Disclaimer:
This checklist is not a diagnostic nor treatment tool. Some of the
characteristics of Empaths can be diagnosed as ADD, agoraphobia or
clinical depression. Contact your health care professional if you have
any questions, need diagnostic or treatment for a mental health issue. Empath Resources

Fortunately, there are more and more online resources available for
Empaths. Unfortunately, most of these resources suggest a process that
is likely to make things worst for you! Any kind of “protective mental
shield” is based on the assumption that emotional information is
threatening. If you go down that path, you will have to “defend”
yourself for the rest of your life. How exhausting does that sound?

My work is result-based: if it works, keep doing it! As an Empath,
these are the 3 tools I find most effective to manage the flow of
emotional information I receive constantly. Try them out and see for
yourself which one works best for you.

  • Being Transparent:

When we feel
threatened by our surroundings, we become physically tense and our our
energy field (the magnetic field that wraps around our body) becomes
dense and constricted.

When you notice this tension, imagine that your energy field is
expanding, like a gas. The particles are getting more and more spaced
out, making your energy field thinner and much bigger. As your energy
field becomes looser, emotions go right through you, like a rock
falling through water. Instead of being caught in your dense energy
field, the emotions of others will simply flow through you.

  • Adjust the Volume: 

Sometimes the
noise from other people’s emotions gets so loud that we can’t hear
ourselves think! We get confused, hesitant, frustrated. Close your eyes
and imagine two volume dials in front of you that go from 0 to 10. One
says “Me” and the other says “Everything else”. Turn the “Me” dial to
10, and the “Everything else” dial to 0. Instantly, your mind will
respond to this request and the chatter will calm down.

  • Progressive Affirmations: 

Progressive
affirmations can help you build up to where you want to be. Keep in
mind that affirmations must ALWAYS feel good in order to be effective.
So start at the “easiest” affirmation and say it for a few days. When
you feel ready, move on to the next level for a few days until you can
say the “top” affirmation while feeling good.

  1. “I am willing to master my Empath abilities”
  2. “I am ready to master my Empath abilities”
  3. “I am choosing to master my Empath abilities”

Keep in mind that practice makes perfect. Try doing it in your head
before you throw yourself in a tough situation (such as the mall or a
party).

Once you are comfortably managing your Empath skills, you are ready
to move on and develop your Emotional Intelligence by productively
using emotional data in your daily life.

I grew up as an Empath, not knowing what that was.  At the time the signs were hidden as normal child growing pains, so no one noticed.  Not that they would have known what to do.  I want to share this with you today in hopes that if you or your child are an Empath, you’ll recognize the signs and be inspired to do something about it.

Being an Empath means that you can feel the emotions of others.  The scope of this skill varies greatly among us.  I can sense the emotions of anyone within a 50 miles radius constantly.  I can also sense the emotions of anyone I know by paying attention to them, no matter how far they are.

Now, I know how to lower the volume or turn this off completely.  But it was not always the case.

When I was growing up, my parents thought I was an unusually quiet child.   But I was constantly trying to sort out what I was feeling/thinking (as opposed to every body else’s stuff) that it left me very little energy to talk.  It just seemed like even more noise.  I was also paralyzed by what I was picking up from other people.  If they were depressed, angry or confused, that’s all I could focus on.  So it was hard to say anything socially acceptable.

I also had some extremely weird habits, such as falling into a trance-like state while putting on my socks.  I would just drift away, as if I was day dreaming.  My mom would have to prompt me several times with “Elise, finish getting dressed” before I would snap out of it.

I also went deaf around 5 or 6.  But I was so quiet that it took a while for anyone to notice.  Even my teachers figured I just wasn’t paying attention when in fact I couldn’t hear them speak.  My mom realized what was going on when I did not turn to her even though she was calling me from a few feet away.  I had surgery and my hearing reluctantly returned.

Then there was the nightmares that always happened in the room I was sleeping in, where people were constantly trying to talk to me but they spoke so softly that I could never quite hear them properly.

And, of course, the migraines.  You don’t hear anything when you’re in excruciating pain.  So it’s a quick fix when all else fails.

I never told anyone that I could feel what they felt simply because I had no idea this was unusual.  I thought everyone felt like this.  But the confusion it generated in me was quite overwhelming.  I became socially withdrawn.  Not interested in parties or any kind of group activities since it was impossible for me to focus on my own thoughts.  It came across as shyness (and still does to this day).

Then came the teenage years where I started to attempt to “do something” with all this emotional information.  I can’t describe to you the powerlessness that it generated.  Being an Empath doesn’t mean you know what to do with what you feel.  It just means you feel it.  So I kept trying to use what I felt in very ineffective ways.  I was mildly suicidal from my late teens to my mid-twenties.

Then I finally found a way to start using my skills: psychology.  I started studying in this field in college and was unusually good at it, even though I did not know why.  But I felt more empowered, having learned how to inspire and support change through the counseling process.

It’s only in my 30s that I struck gold and discovered Intuition.  Intuition uses the emotional information I perceive to build a productive plan of action.  So instead of constantly receiving  information that left me overwhelmed and powerless, I was now able to talk about the emotions and link them to specific ways to make changes and improve the situation.  Phew!

Along the way, I developed all kinds of techniques to manage the emotional information I receive as an Empath.  And I use this every day.  I can now turn it off completely or lower the volume, so that my own feeling and thoughts are always the loudest.  It’s made a world of difference for me.  I can walk through a mall without feeling like I just ran a marathon!

There are situations that still get the better of me.  I sometimes get overwhelmed in big family parties. Or when my son is so ecstatically happy that his joy runs me over like a bus!  But that’s becoming the exception, as opposed to the rule.     And as soon as it starts to happen, I know what’s going on and I have a plan to manage it!  No more migraines ;)

I also noticed that my son has a very different reaction to his sensitivity as an Empath.  He becomes totally wired, as if he’d just had a bowl of sugar (which he rarely eats).  He’s a very mellow child at home, but he’ll burst out with energy when he starts to feel emotionally charged by those around him.  Either way, through silence or verbo-motor activity, Empath children easily suffer from not knowing how to stay grounded when exposed to external emotional activity.  So they try to quiet the noise by being quiet or beating the noise by screaming at it.

I have put together a page of resources for Empaths on my web site at https://www.eliselebeau.com

In love,

Elise Lebeau, Ph.D., Professional Intuitive