Unlocking your connection…

“I recently began examining my gift closely.  In an effort to improve the connection I have with my spirit guide and with the emotions of people around me, I have done a few things.  I don’t eat sugar or milk and I quit smoking three weeks ago.  I gotta tell you that the connection has just exploded…”

Empaths

“Has being an Empath led you to a Spiritual Path?” was the questions asked on the Empath Community web site.  What a great question!  As for me, being an Empath didn’t lead me as much as beaten me behind the head with a baseball bat and then ran over me with a truck while also pounding me with a jackhammer until there were pretty much no other options than for me to crawl onto my spiritual path…

Keep in mind that I was an atheist engineer before all this! I didn’t believe in anything and I had no clue what a chakra was. Actually, I probably thought it was some sort of ninja weapon!

My awakening happened while pregnant with my son (when our own energy is practically double because of the child). That major energy shift can trigger an awakening, ready or not

So I mostly “woke up” like this one morning (i.e. Empath, healer and intuitive BOOM!). Not that this stuff wan’t there before but, as a child, I had powerful coping strategy that involved ignoring everything I felt. These strategies went bust in about 5 seconds once I got the full blast turned on all the time.

So after 2 years of excruciating emotional and often physical pain, I decided that had to be a better way to do this…Honestly, this was 7 years ago and I was unable to find ANYTHING on the internet, except for Jad’s Book of Storm which I found completely abstract and most confusing. Oh and a bunch of stuff about Empaths as Dungeon and Dragon characters! And that’s when the free Empath Survival Program was born.

Now after that point, it was wwaaaaayyyyy better! My mind cleared up. I discovered that I was my own person, not just an empty bucket for everyone’s else’s feelings. I found ways to use my Empath skills at work. I created this place (omg, the best thing EVER!). And I started to meet tons of people just like me! That was so healing…words can’t describe it.

And now? Well, I love to meditate with Orin (my fav meditation teacher), I love to use my Empath skills to raise my son so he feels always understood, I love to turn it off when I need to and turn it back on when I need that…The possibilities are endless from here!

It really doesn’t matter how you start walking along your spiritual path.  There is no shame is having some hard beginnings.  What really matters is that you ARE here now and moving right along, hopefully finding everything YOU need to make it a soother journey along the way….
in love,
Elise

Empaths

We are all born with the ability to sense emotions in others. It’s is a basic survival skill for humans and animals. This ability usually subsides in childhood as we learn to focus more on verbal cues than emotional ones.

Empaths, on the other hand, have a heightened sensitivity to other people’s emotions that keeps developing over time. As other kids stop picking up emotional signals, Empath children become totally overwhelmed by the sheer quantity of emotional information that they receive in social settings.

Since most parents do not know if they are Empaths, they don’t recognize the signs in their kids. It also prevents them for effectively teaching their kids how to manage emotional overflow. For a more in depth discussion on resources for adult Empaths, you can read my articles on this topic here.

Emotional Intelligence is defined as “the ability, capacity, or skill to perceive, assess, and manage the emotions of one’s self, of others, and of groups” (Salovey and Mayer, 1990).  When you teach your children how to manage their Empath skills, you are developing their Emotional Intelligence.

Children have a different way of handling their Empath abilities. Their range of available response is smaller, so they typically pick very quiet (as a way to calm down the emotional chaos they feel) or acting out (as a way to be louder than the emotional noise).

Keep in mind that children learn how to manage their Empath abilities by watching you handle yours. If you’re an Empath but don’t know how to handle it, get help for yourself first!

These are behaviors I have observed in Empath children who don’t know how to handle their abilities:

• Gets unusually quiet (often seen as shyness) around crowds but is fine with the immediate family or smaller groups. Your child is trying to feel empowered and centered by withdrawing from the
  world.

• Gets physically or verbally out of control around people but is mellow at home. Your child is trying to find an outlet to the overwhelming flow of incoming emotions.

• Resists going to bed or wakes up often. Your child is trying to stay centered while surrounded by the emotional activity of adults.

• Catches every illness available (cold, flu, ear infections, etc.). Your child is trying to feel empowered in shutting down unwanted emotional activity. Being sick is often the only way a child can use to withdraw from social situations.

Disclaimer: This checklist is not a diagnostic or treatment tool. I am not a doctor or a mental health professional. Some of the characteristics of Empaths can be diagnosed as ADD, agoraphobia or clinical depression. Contact your health care professional if you have any questions, need diagnostic or treatment for a mental health issue.

There are three fundamental concepts that need to be addressed in order to effectively manage emotional information.

1. Empowerment: Do you control your Empath skills or do they control you (curse or blessing?)

2. Centeredness: Can you always hear your own internal self above all (raise above the chaos)

3. Flow: Does emotional information come in AND out freely (do you have an outlet?)

In order to help your child, you need tools that address each of these concepts.
This is a technique I developed with my son which does just this. It makes him feel empowered by giving him something to do when he is overwhelmed, allows him to focus on himself and helps him release other people’s emotions as he breathes out.

Empath Anchoring Technique:

When your child gets overwhelmed, she often just needs a point of reference to stay grounded. You can be that anchor.

1. Calm your own emotions. You can’t be a positive anchor if you’re upset or angry.

2. Tell her quietly “Look me in the eyes” (point to your eyes) and put your hand on her chest. Make sure you have eye contact for the next step!

3. Tell her “We’re going to take 5 breaths together and count them”. Let your child breathe however she wants. You’re just accompanying her, counting out loud with each exhalation.

Breathing quiets down emotional noise, re-centers the mind and helps children feel empowered by having something they can do when they feel uncomfortable. Include Empath anchoring it in your night time routine!

By Elise Lebeau, M.Sc.

More resources for empaths at http://www.EliseLebeau.com/empath

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Empaths child empath, emotional intelligence, empath tools, empathic children, empaths, is my child empath

In my post “Atchoo said my intuition“, I described how the sudden rise of my sensitivity as an Empath and intuitive lead to a surge in seasonal allergies.  After 10 years without any spring time sneezing, it was easy for me to notice how the allergies and my increased sensitivity were related!

This problem is especially salient in Empaths because they are hyper sensitive to everything around them.  As Empath skills expand, that sensitivity can become overwhelming and can truly become a problem.

While a few sneezes in the spring time is nothing to worry about, over sensitive Empaths can become house bound hostages when their allergies require mind numbing medication or lead to asthma and chronic fatigue.  By then, it’s not a minor inconvinience anymore…

And yet, the body never does anything without a reason.  All this time, the sneezing is trying to say something…And quite frankly it took me a while to get both parts of that message myself.  It is my hope that your own struggle with allergies may be shorten upon reading about what worked for me!

There is no question in my mind that growth comes in leaps and bounds.  There are times where our Empath sensitivity is growing exponentially while at other times, we seem to be completely shut down.  Learning to modulate this process is a critical skill to make it more comfortable.

But what is it that you are trying to modulate?  Two things: your sensitivity and your reactivity.

Sensitivity is your ability to perceive internal and external stimulations.  As an Empath, your sensitivity determines how easily you can feel other people’s emotions.  For most Empaths, their sensitivity is through the roof to the point where they feel completely overwhelemed by other people’s emotions.

Reactivity is how you react to what you perceive.  For example, Empath can often react to other people’s emotions with extreme sadness (for perceived negative emotions) or hyperactivity (for perceived positive emotions).  Moreso, they often feel compelled to help others as they feel their emotional pain.

In their natural state, Impaired Empaths have very high sensitivity and reactivity.  This can be profoundly painful as they experience the intense negative emotions of everyone around them and immediately react to them with more pain, suffering and powerlessness of their own.  It’s a never ending cycle that can wear you down both emotionally and physically.  Especially when you have no idea how to shut this down…

And so the body tries to complain…Being constantly in a state of over stimulation, it starts to reject everything that adds to this chaos, including loud sounds, strong smells and, of course, pollen!  There is nothing wrong with pollen: it is not threatening in any way.  And yet the body can’t take any more…so it reacts as if pollen was a dangerous intruder that needs to be immediately eliminated.  So begins the sneezing, runny nose and constant itching.

So what can we do?

In the Empath Survival Program, I suggest the use of a volume dial to learn how to modulate how much emotional information we’re picking up from other people (if you have not completed the Empath Survival Program, I strongly recommend that you start there first!).  We’ll use this very effective tool to manage seasonal allergies dues to increased sensitivity and reactivity.

Here is how you can use this:

- When you feel a sneeze coming or the annoying tickle in the ear canal, immediately turn down both volumes for your reactivity and your sensitivity, as described in these pictures.

I strongly suggest that you practice this exercise daily for 2 week to really get the hang of it.  In the beginning, you are likely to turn it down only few a seconds.  So you have to keep sending the message to your own brain that you want to turn this down!  Over and over again, until it becomes a reflex.  This is like physical therapy for your mind: repetition is critical!

But you should feel an improvement in the very first day.  Your body is probably thrilled to see that if was finally understood!  It will do everything it can to help you learn how to modulate your own sensitivity and reactivity so that, in the end, you can be a functional and comfortable Empath!

in love,
Elise Lebeau, M.Sc.
Professional Intuitive
www.EliseLebeau.com

Empaths

Tough economic times are really hard on Intuitives and Empaths because we feel not only our own financial struggle but also the suffering of all those around us…This can be a paralyzing, overwhelming feeling that leaves us feeling completely powerless and exhausted.

And yet…there are things that we can do to help not only ourselves but also all those around us. It’s not as direct as handing out $100 bills but it does affect everyone who is touched by it.

Orin and Daben are non physical beings who work with humans to facilitate evolution on the Earth plane.

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Join in a Worldwide Meditation on Abundance Sunday, April 19, 2009
Join with thousands around the world on the inner planes to call upon the Great Ones, to receive transmissions for your own abundance and to help stabilize world economic conditions. Follow the above link for more information, including a free DaBen and Orin audio abundance meditation you can listen to now, on April 19th, and throughout the year. Invite everyone you know to participate; when we work together at this level we can and do make a difference.
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You can see the details of this gathering of light on their Manifesting from Higher Consciousness page:
http://www.orindaben.com/home/manifesting.php

in love,
Elise

Empaths, Intuition